Sidewalk Talk

How To Be Resilient In Our Connections

November 4, 2019

Standout Quotes from this Episode:

In order to grow more resilient, we need to take useful experiences fully in, so they move from a shift in a state to a shift in a trait. 

To enter into the depths of we, we have to have a healthy sense of me, of my own rights, autonomy, rights to disengage if I need to.  Intimacy is not at odds with autonomy.

There is a real distinction between solitude and loneliness.  Loneliness carries as many risks for health...

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author. His books are available in 26 languages and include Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha's Brain, Just One Thing, and Mother Nurture.

Today Traci and Rick have such a sweet connection and exploration together as they discuss how to be a resilient connector even if you are an introvert.  If you want to find out more about Rick please visit his website to find his podcast and online courses here which we highly get behind.

What Dr. Hanson wants us all to be able to do in this life is to show up and face challenges, experience our vulnerabilities, and use our resources more fully.  One of the ways that happen is to learn how to work with ourselves to amplify useful experiences so they help us develop an unshakeable core, no matter what is happening inside or around us.

Rick talked with Traci about how to be resilient while listening on the sidewalk.  And Traci got to explore with Rick where she has more work to do.

I am an introvert.  I don’t need a connection.

Traci engaged Rick about the idea of introversion.  She has heard from many followers of Sidewalk Talk that because they are an introvert, they do not need the kind of connection that Sidewalk Talk offers.  

Rick weighs in by offering that “ I am a friendly introvert.  There is a real distinction between solitude and loneliness.  Loneliness carries as many risks for health as cigarette smoking. People are social animals.  Certainly, in childhood, it is necessary and important for everyone to feel received in some fundamental way.  John Wellwood, in his work, shared the ideology of self-reliance or spiritual bypass where we withdraw from contact bc it is stirring and we would rather preserve distance.  We would prefer no demand, no obligation.”

In our modern times, we must reclaim our nature and engage people eye to eye.  We are called to be strong and engage in practices that expand our ability to be free and widen our ability to experience.

When Rick asked Joseph Goldstein from the Insight Meditation Society “If you could nominate a practice for a critical mass of people to do on the planet every day what would it be?”

Joseph Goldstein said, “I would have them spend 5 minutes a day listening to another person without any judgments.” 

To give others the gift and profound blessing for feeling felt.