Sidewalk Talk
Embracing All Our Parts Grows Our Compassion For Others | Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems

Embracing All Our Parts Grows Our Compassion For Others | Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems

October 27, 2020

When you accept all the parts of you, you activate eight C’s in your life, namely; curiosity, calm, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, connectedness, and courage.  When we are filled up with these qualities, we can feel for someone, without being overwhelmed by them.

In this episode, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz joins Traci to talk about self-leadership and the links between some of the current events of our time: injustice of all kinds, politics, and empathy across divides. 

Dr. Schwartz is the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS). He came up with a theory that we are all made up of parts, and different parts of us could be burdened, causing us not to be okay. He also found that when the parts felt safe and were allowed to relax, we spontaneously experienced the qualities of confidence, openness, and compassion that Dr. Schwartz came to call the Self with a capital ‘S’.  He found that when in that state of self, we know how to heal.

Near the end he shares how shame and legacy burdens are parts that play into our activism and justice work.  

Listen in as Traci and Dr. Schwartz help us understand the multiple parts theory of IFS and how it works.

Episode Timelines:

[ 06:26] What would Dick want to be changed in therapists’ training?

[10:39] Richard’s multiple parts theory

[16:50] Do we all have multiple parts despite having a smooth childhood?

[17:52] Self Leadership Is...

[19:23] The eight C’s: Qualities that come out when you accept yourself

[20:20] What should listeners be mindful of when listening to someone whose parts might come up and maybe not emphasized?

[24:30] How culture influences some of our parts

[28:11] How Internal Family Systems is stretching beyond the therapist office

[34:19] Richard’s words of wisdom

Resources Mentioned:

Richard’s books

Stand Out Quotes:

“A burden is an extreme belief, emotion or energy that comesfrom some trauma or, bad event in our lives and attaches almost like a virus.” [13:00]

“The ego is just a collection of these little manager parts trying their best to keep you safe.   They need love, too. They don’t need to be disparaged.” [30:16]

“It is possible to burnout and people who burn out typically are those who, in trying to help somebody, feel like they have to take in their emotions.” [34:31]

“If you’re full in compassion, you don’t necessarily feel what the client is feeling. But you feel a lot for them, you have a strong desire to help them. You don’t necessarily have to feel their feelings [to feel for them].” [35:49]

Connect:

Find Sidewalk Talk Podcast
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Find | Dr. Richard C. Schwartz

At

Find | Dr. Richard Schwartz

At:  ifs-institute.com
On LinkedIn: @internalfamilysystems
On Twitter: @IFS_Model
On Instagram: @internalfamilysystems
On Facebook: @InternalFamilySystems

Trauma & Recovery: A Healing Journey | Dr. Jamie Marich

Trauma & Recovery: A Healing Journey | Dr. Jamie Marich

October 18, 2020

Great passion makes the impossible happen.

In this episode, Dr. Jamie Marich joins Traci on the podcast to talk about trauma.

Jamie’s passion for helping trauma victims is profoundly personal. Listen in, as Dr. Marich shares her personal story, different techniques that can be used when treating trauma, and tips that we all can apply in our day to day lives.

Dr. Jamie Marich describes herself as a facilitator of transformative experiences. A clinical trauma specialist, expressive artist, writer, yogini, performer, short filmmaker, Reiki master, and recovery advocate, she unites all of these elements in her mission to inspire healing in others. She began her career as a humanitarian aid worker in Bosnia-Hercegovina from 2000-2003, primarily teaching English and music while freelancing with other projects. Jamie travels internationally teaching on topics related to trauma, EMDR therapy, expressive arts, mindfulness, and yoga, while maintaining a private practice in her home base of Warren, OH. Jamie is the author of seven books on trauma recovery and healing, with many more projects in the works.

Have you been wanting to learn more about trauma, but you have not found resources that you resonate with? Jamie's books have been released and are step by step guides for working with your own healing.

Trauma and the 12 Steps: a Trauma Responsive Workbook

Trauma and the 12 Steps: Daily Meditations and Reflections

were updated and released this September.

Trauma and the 12 Steps, Revised and Expanded: An Inclusive Guide to Enhancing Recovery was revised and expanded this summer.  

All worth checking out.

 

Episode Milestone

[03:18] Dr. Marich's mission

[05:00] What is Trauma?

[07:19] What is the legacy that trauma leaves if we're not getting the right information about trauma?

[11:38] When can getting therapy exacerbate trauma?

[16:05] The source of Dr. Marich’s passion for Trauma: Jamie’s story

[25:05] What are best practices for working with folks with trauma?

[29:31] Accountability tips for helping you keep your mindfulness practice up.

[40:22] Traci’s soapbox moment

Resources Mentioned:

Stephanie Covington

Dr. Jamie’s resource site

Standout Quotes from the Episode:

  • “What may seem like a small wound on the outside can actually be something quite significant. “ [06:27]
  • “To truly eradicate and heal the PTSD or any other trauma-related disorder, you have to do work, like therapeutic work.” [14:47]
  • “Mindfulness is not about making the wave stop. It's about learning how to surf.” [29:06]
  • “Consistency is better for the brain than inconsistency.” [30:32]
  • “Lifestyle as the things we end up doing as a response to our own inferiority.” [36:22]
  • “I do believe healing, our trauma is the most radical act we can engage in.” [41:39]
  • “If wounds remain untreated, they bleed, and we bleed all over people as a result.”[43:05]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Learning About the Enemies of Listening | Dr. Guy Itzchakov

Learning About the Enemies of Listening | Dr. Guy Itzchakov

October 12, 2020

Are you a good listener?

Many of us think we are good listeners, but maybe, just maybe, we are not as hot at listening as we think we are. Today, Dr. Guy Itzchakov joins Traci Ruble on the podcast to talk about the subtle art of listening.

Doctor Itzchakov is an assistant professor at the University of Haifa and the Department of Human Services and obtained his Ph.D. from the School of Business Administration at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. He was a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto at the Rotman School of Management. His focal research has been on the effects of high quality listening on facilitating a change in the speaker’s emotions, cognition, and behavior.  Dr. Itzchakov is also research advisor to Sidewalk Talk.

Listen in as Dr. Itzchakovs shares tips on listening you can use, right now, today, in your own life. 

Episode Milestone

[03:05] How Traci and Dr. Guy met

[05:14] How Dr. Guy got into listening

[o6:15] The boomerang effect

[12:41] Why don’t we listen more?

[13:41] The enemies of listening

[19:19] How does culture affect listening?

[27:04] Ingredients to good listening

[32:58] Ways of conveying understanding to the speaker

[39:01] Does listening contribute to people’s health?

[44:48] Dr. Guy’s wish

 

Resources Mentioned:

Carl Rogers

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode:

  • “When someone listens to us, we feel less anxious, because we don’t care anymore, how we look when we say the things we say.” [08:35]
  • “Research is important to the extent that you can make a difference with it.” [10:55]
  • “Listening is key to the change that we need to make, and we are asked to make in our society” [11:35]
  • “If you listen well, you lose dominance, and you gain prestige.” [17:47]
  • “Listening will reduce the speaker’s anxiety, both state anxiety and social anxiety, which is an indicator of wellbeing.” [39:12]

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Children’s Mental Health | Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge

Children’s Mental Health | Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge

October 5, 2020

One in two children in America has either a physical or a mental health issue. This is a serious problem. Even though that’s a statistic relevant to America, this is a global issue. Children are also displaying a ton of physical problems, everything from obesity to asthma, eczema, and other conditions.

In this episode, Traci will have an informative discussion around children’s mental health with Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge. She is the founder and director of Dr. Roseanne and Associates, and she’s the originator of the 360-degree reboot intensive therapies program. She works with kids, teens, and parents in Richfield in Newtown, Connecticut. She’s co-authored a book called ‘The Brain Under Attack’, a resource guide about pan’s pandas. She’s an expert in several areas, including anxiety-related disorders, ADHD, autism, executive functioning, dyslexia, and other learning disabilities.

Dr. Roseann shares her wisdom with us. Listen in.

Episode Milestone

[00:49] Introducing the episode’s guest

[02:43] What inspired Dr. Roseann to work with kids?

[04:04] The increase in the number of children with mental health in America

[11:42] What can we do in our day to day life to help children with mental health

[19:33] OCD treatment

[22:31] How can society be a change agent when it comes to children’s mental health?

[31:13] Dr. Roseann’s wish

 

Resources Mentioned:

The Brain Under Attack

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode:

  • “We’re very socially disconnected. Everybody wants to blame everything on technology.” [10:39]
  • “It’s easier to change somebody’s religion than it is to change their diet” [12:50]
  • “We’re in this elevated stress state all the time because our body knows no difference. Good or bad stress.” [14:54]
  • “Kids really benefit from clear communication in advance. And that’s not you know, that’s helping them have problem-solving.” [27:48]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Spiritual Sustenance for Angry Times | Karen Brailsford

Spiritual Sustenance for Angry Times | Karen Brailsford

September 29, 2020

What do you do when you are feeling outraged? Do you tantrum, hide out, or do you counter the anger with something affirming?

Today, Traci sits down with Karen Brailsford to talk about spiritual sustenance. If you have wondered how spirituality can help you cope with these intense times without floating away on a cloud of "avoiding the hard things", this episode is for you. Karen has a lot of information that you can borrow and apply in your day to day life. 

Karen is a spiritual advisor. She’s affiliated with the Agape Center, but she’s also a long-time writer. She’s written for Newsweek, People, In Tough, and Entertainment. Her daughter is an actress; you may have seen her in The Hate You Give, Or Hunger Games, Amandla Stenberg.

Many of us think Hollywood is a corrupt place, and nothing good comes from there, but Karen has a different opinion. During her time as a journalist, she had a chance to interview all types of people you might outwardly judge and make assumptions about.

Are you ready to hear Karen ooze her heart-wise tools?  Listen in...

Episode Milestones
[03:43] Karen’s history
[05:33] How does spirituality help us in the different landscapes of the soul?
[08:52] How can spirituality not be a tool to avoid but a tool to sustain our action?
[12:47] Karen’s remedy on burnout
[16:22] Making use of our anger to be of service to the divine
[20:53] Dealing with everything that’s happening around us with affirmation
[24:13] Why I’m I here, and how can I help?
[25:03] How Karen is helping her child remain spiritual even as she is part of Hollywood
[29:59] Why did Karen write the book? What did she hope to achieve?
[33:14] Karen’s gratitude

Resources Mentioned:

Sacred Landscapes of the Heart
Karen’s website

Standout Quotes from the Episode

  • “I think that by connecting to these ways of creating these different hats that I wear that I’m expressing the divine, I’m expressing spirit, and that’s why I am here.” [04:29]
  • “Pray and move your feet, pray and move.” [09:35]
  • “Once we are taking care of what’s going on and coming up for us, then we can truly be a beneficial presence on the planet.” [10:16]
  • “It’s always really humbling and empowering to realize that no matter what is happening, I have at my disposal these tools.”[15:10]
  • “Hollywood itself is emblematic of the dichotomy that exists in the world at large.” [27:38]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

What Relationship Science Tells Us About Loneliness and Intimacy | Dr. Harry Reis

What Relationship Science Tells Us About Loneliness and Intimacy | Dr. Harry Reis

September 22, 2020

Given a chance to talk to your pre-adolescent self, what would you say to them considering all the information you have now?

In today’s show, Traci will be having a hearty conversation with Dr. Reis on loneliness, connection, and intimacy. This episode has nuggets of wisdom based on science for us all to take home.

Dr. Reis is a professor of psychology and Dean’s professor in art sciences and engineering. His research interests involve social interaction and close relationships. He studies the factors that influence our social interaction’s quality and closeness and the consequences of different socializing patterns for our health and psychological well-being. In his research, subjects keep detailed records of their ongoing social interaction. He tabulates them by computer, related to other various factors such as their sexual health and emotional well-being. He is an expert on loneliness and shares the findings of some of his research.

You can’t afford not to love this episode.

Episode Milestones

[02:45] Dr. Reis’s background and why he started research on intimacy and loneliness

[05:50] What would Dr. Reis say to his pre-adolescent self?

[07:11] What has surprised Dr. Reis the most in his study?

[08:33] Active listening as a skill

[10:49] Couple’s theories that excite Dr. Reis the most?

[12:34] What is loneliness, and where does it come from?

[19:01] Is loneliness getting worse, or are we tracking it more now?

[29:24] How can active listening be used to solve loneliness?

[33:26] Dr. Reis’s wish

Resources mentioned:

New York University

Standout Quotes:

  • “I like to think about cell phones as fast food. If you’re hungry, and you go get yourself a Big Mac, you won’t be hungry, at least for a little while. But what you’re eating is not nutritious.” [20:47]
  • “I don’t want people to get the idea that we’re saying that the way to avoid loneliness is to have deep, meaningful conversations all the time.” [24:31]
  • “When you pay attention to what another person is saying, you can get insight into them. And interestingly enough, that makes it easy. For people to feel like the other person is paying attention to them.” [29:48]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Can Covid-19 Begin to Heal Our Disconnected and Unjust Society?  | Dr. Fay Bound Alberti

Can Covid-19 Begin to Heal Our Disconnected and Unjust Society? | Dr. Fay Bound Alberti

September 15, 2020

How might sweeping shifts in both religion and medicine in the nineteenth-century impact a wide array of things we face today like loneliness and racism? When the mind began ruling over the body we saw society shift and loneliness, racism, and mental illness rise. 

Dr. Fay Bound Alberti is a cultural historian, writer, and UKRI future leader’s fellow who studies the history of medicine and the human body. Her books include Matters of the Heart, The History of Medicine and Emotion, This Mortal Coil, the Human Body in History and Culture, A Biography of Loneliness The History of an Emotion.

Listen in as Dr. Bound Alberti finds a glimmer of hope in what feel like hopeless times.  She pinpoints the exact moments in which we started to separate body, mind, and spirit and how it ushered in the world that we now have.  She plants seeds of possibility that Covid-19 just might reconnect our bodies, minds, and spirits in a way that could usher in the social transformation that could end discrimination and loneliness and improve our health.  The key, she says, is the body.

Episode Timeline:

  • [00:09] Intro
  • [01:21] Meet Dr. Fay Bound Alberti
  • [03:16] -Emotions and relationships
  • [04:32] History of Separating The Mind And The Body
  • [07:14] The need for structural change and social change
  • [13:45] Covid-19 Destigmatizing Loneliness
  • [17:05] Shared meaning as a barrier against loneliness
  • [22:20] Psychotherapy Being Limited By Insurers
  • [23:16] -The body as the solution
  • [23:52] Medicalized approaches to loneliness
  • [30:35] Loneliness and prejudice
  • [35:58] Dr. Fay Bound Alberti’s Wish To Listeners
  • [37:43] - Outro

Resources Mentioned:

Standout Quotes:

  • Loneliness is being created and induced by our sensory experiences. [24:46] - Dr. Fay Bound-Alberti
  • “Where people feel connected to others, either spiritually or even in a secular sense through environmentalism or movements or networks that make people feel imaginatively connected to some world outside of their own. I think that's that provides a barrier against loneliness.” [16:51] - Dr. Fay Bound-Alberti
  • “One of the most important things for me about studying the history of medicine in the history of emotion is the ways in which some of the things that are entrenched in our society around racism, around sexism, around gender difference, they're rooted in what we think about the body, what we think about identity, what a person is capable of. And a lot of those ideas that were developed in the 19th century have not been sufficiently challenged.” [32:41] - Dr. Fay Bound-Alberti
Breathing Room and the Power of a Pause | Jamie McHugh

Breathing Room and the Power of a Pause | Jamie McHugh

September 8, 2020

Did you know that you can use your breath to activate your body and become more receptive?  In this episode, Traci will have an in-depth conversation with Jamie on the breathing room and the power of a pause.

Jamie McHugh is a somatic movement specialist, a multidisciplinary artist, and a fine art photographer. He lives on the Mendocino coast of California. Listen in as Jamie shares his journey into becoming the person he is today, and he will give some essential pieces of information that we all can take home to make the world a better place for all of us.

Episode  Timeline

[00:09] Intro

[01:01] Meet Jamie

[07:55] Traci’s first encounter with Jamie

[11:13] Jamie’s photography and how it is serving the community

[15:42] Grounding and centering

[19:55] The play impulse

[21:36] Reclaiming your birthright

[26:50] The mystery and power of breathing

[40:14] Reclaiming the breath for you and the world

[46:26] Jamie’s nuggets of Wisdom

[48:23] Outtro

 

Standout Quotes

  • “ Let your consciousness really focus as much as you like. When you're ready to just let it wander, and that rhythm of condensing and expanding is, for me just part of the rhythm of life.”Jamie McHugh [13:22]
  • “The planet is a creative process that is emerging and has so much variation. In a way, as human beings as members of the planet, not independent of the planet, but members of the planet, we have that same capacity to explore and experience all of these kinds of sensory-motor delights when we just give over to gravity.”-Jamie McHugh[18:19]
  • “ There is more to us than our pain and suffering at any one moment.”- Jamie McHugh [23:25]
  • “If you have at least 20 different ways to breathe, you can meet varying challenges.” -Jamie McHugh [27:22]

Resources Mentioned

Anna Halprin

Tamalpa Institute

Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen

Emilie Conrad

Breathing Room Events With Jamie McHugh

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Jamie McHugh

At  www.somaticexpression.com

      www.NatureBeingArt.org

 

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Music to the Soul | Dr. Elliot Gann

Music to the Soul | Dr. Elliot Gann

July 28, 2020

Growing up the child of two psychoanalysts, it wasn't much of a surprise when Dr. Elliot Gann succeeded at becoming a well trained clinical psychoanalyst himself. However, his ability to combine his passion for producing music and making beats with his skills as a therapist, did come as a surprise— particularly for parents who had never considered the magic it could work in the lives of their children.

Today, Elliot sits down with Traci to talk about beatmaking therapy and the work done by his organization, Today’s Future Sound. He shares the motivation behind his work and some impactful moments from his time working with students. 

Listen in as they get candid about leading a non-profit organization and more. Hear how Elliot is taking an unconventional approach to create space for children and adults alike while achieving personal fulfillment.

Find extended show notes at sidewalk-talk.org

 

 

Connect:

 

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Elliot Gann

At todaysfuturesound.org

On Youtube: @todaysfuturesound

On Soundcloud: @todaysfuturesound

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Are You With Me or Against Me? | Dr. Laura Delizonna, Stanford University | Google Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI)

Are You With Me or Against Me? | Dr. Laura Delizonna, Stanford University | Google Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI)

July 14, 2020

What could trust-building mean for creating lasting change? —Today’s guest and Stanford University instructor, Dr. Laura Delizonna, has some insights on the subject that will inspire and ignite you. 

An international speaker, executive coach and author, Dr. Delizonna’s work on emotional intelligence and her partnership with Google sprouted non-profit SIYLI has been used by leaders around the globe. 

Hear her thoughts on overcoming implicit biases, building relationships through conflict, and creating work environments where people can thrive. She shares her passion for people, connection, and science as she expertly navigates the questions we’re all wondering about connection and meaningful leadership.

Find extended show notes at sidewalk-talk.org

Bio:

Laura Delizonna, PhD

As a Stanford University instructor, international speaker, and executive coach, Delizonna works with leaders to achieve their potential and lead teams to breakthrough innovation. She equips leaders with practical tools to elevate team performance and shape their company’s culture. She consults and conducts customized trainings at top companies such as Google, Facebook, Disney, McKinsey & Co., and Uber. She specializes in practical trainings to elevate skill sets such as leadership effectiveness, psychological safety, resilience, and team performance. She’s taught at Stanford Continuing Studies for 14 years.

Delizonna authored four books including Enhancing Emotional IntelligenceMindful Leaders, Thrive, and Mindful. Her award winning article on high performing teams was published in Harvard Business Review and has had over half a million views. She was trained at Harvard, Boston University, and Stanford. 

Connect:

 

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Dr. Laura Delizonna

At delizonna.com

On Amazon: Books

On LinkedIn: @LauraDelizonna

On HBR: Safety In Work Teams

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