Sidewalk Talk
The Art of Hosting’s Toke Paludan Moeller on learning and spiritual practice | Toke Paludan Moeller

The Art of Hosting’s Toke Paludan Moeller on learning and spiritual practice | Toke Paludan Moeller

May 11, 2021

Toke Paludan Moeller was born a few years after World War II into a lineage of learners. His Danish ancestors include a cadre of individuals who spent their lives doing things from resisting the Nazis to being educated in the folk schools that came after their native country’s bankruptcy. Toke has made a name for himself within his family, starting the Art of Hosting and Interchange to help us all learn to live in harmony with ourselves and others. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci gets to talk with Toke, one of her personal heroes, about the storied history that made him the person he is today, his belief that learning is a way to become a good citizen of the societies in which we live, and how to find your spiritual connection or practice and determine the work you have been called to complete in this life. This is a conversation you won’t simply listen to—you’ll feel it in your very being. Get ready for Toke to share his fount of wisdom with you. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:52] Meet Toke 

[24:03] Learning as a way to be a good citizen 

[33:53] Finding your spiritual connection and determining the work you’re called to 

[48:00] Your response to the call  

[58:11] Toke’s word for you

[1:03:00] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

The Art of Hosting

Interchange 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Before anything else, we are human beings, and we can learn.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“I’m a seeker of wisdom wherever I can get it.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“One of the downfalls of the long-term evolution of our societies is the separation, the divorce in some places, between education and learning.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“We are fantastically endowed to excel in learning. And when we learn together, it’s an equalizer.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“We need peaceful warriorship in the world.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“When we are comfortable and when we are in that harmony, we are kind and so willing to give.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“Living in love and peace is not an old stupid hippie idea. This is how the fucking universe works.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“If we can live the future we want a little more every day, eventually it will be so.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“This is the time to remember who we are and to not be afraid of going on the most important exploration that we can do: to discover who we really are.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“What you practice, you will become.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

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Dr. Niobe Way on solving the crisis of connection | Dr. Niobe Way

Dr. Niobe Way on solving the crisis of connection | Dr. Niobe Way

May 4, 2021

For the last century or so, we’ve been told that we—humans—are the problem, not the society in which we live. What if the opposite was actually true? Dr. Niobe Way thinks so, and she’s ready to tell you why. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down for a conversation with NYU professor and founder of the Project for the Advancement of our Common Humanity (PACH), Dr. Niobe Way. 

Dr. Niobe founded PACH after spending years talking with students in middle school classrooms, specifically boys, about their feelings when it comes to friendship, life, and connection. Throughout their conversation, Traci and Niobe tackle the many issues embedded within our culture that work to de-humanize us, Niobe’s newest initiative—The Listening Project—and the power of transformative interviewing, and the scientific evidence pointing to the current crisis of connection we’re facing not only in the U.S., but around the world. If you’ve ever wondered if a single person determined to listen and not judge the individual sitting across from them can change the world, this is your proof that listening can in fact restore our humanity and change our culture for the better. Sit with Traci and Niobe as they engage in this heavy, yet hopeful, conversation. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:07] Meet Dr. Niobe Way 

[15:05] Issues in the culture that de-humanize us 

[21:13] Niobe’s story on friendships between boys in the classroom  

[28:45] The Listening Project and transformative interviewing 

[45:37] Traci and Niobe’s dreams for disrupting the culture and addressing the crisis of connection 

[48:32] The scientific evidence behind the crisis of connection  

[54:59] Niobe’s word for you 

[1:01] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

PACH – The Project for the Advancement of our Common Humanity 

The Science of Human Connection

Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection 

The Crisis of Connection: Roots, Consequences, and Solutions 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“We born wanting, starving, for connection to each other. And that’s basically all we want in our lives: to be deeply connected to one another and to connect to ourselves as well.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“We’ve created a culture that clashes with our nature.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“We say, ‘the problem is you, not the culture in which you live.’”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“The problem is that we have created this culture that’s based on this hierarchy of humanness. It’s very critical that we stop taking the symptom and treating it as if it’s the problem, because it’s a symptom of a problem.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“If it’s just about holding hands and being nice to each other, it’s not going to get far because we’re not disrupting the fundamental structure that creates the problem.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“At the root of all good connection is interpersonal curiosity.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“The question is not, ‘how do we punish that person? But, ‘how do we understand what happened so that it doesn’t happen again?’”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“Listening is not just simply about shutting up. It’s about engaging with people around their questions. Learning from someone else about the answers to your own questions. Valuing interpersonal curiosity. Seeing connection not just as connecting on social media, but actually allowing someone to be seen, and heard, and listened to.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“We need to start from a place of humanity and who we are as humans, in order for us to get to a more just and humane place. And until we start from that place, we’re never going to get there.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

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Find | Traci Ruble

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On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

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Dr. Dwight Turner on otherness, race, and the benefits of psychotherapy | Dr. Dwight Turner

Dr. Dwight Turner on otherness, race, and the benefits of psychotherapy | Dr. Dwight Turner

April 27, 2021

Dr. Dwight Turner has been studying and teaching on the concepts of otherness, race, and justice in psychotherapy long before they were trending topics in culture. He recently put out his first book on just that topic, in the hopes that readers will walk away with a better understanding of their own privilege and tendencies to otherize in culture today. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci gets to sit down with Dr. Turner to discuss his book, the idea of creating equality and justice out of disgust, and the balance between being an individual and adapting to society, especially when it comes to the COVID-19 pandemic. This is a thought-provoking and engaging conversation between therapists, but also one that is accessible to anyone, regardless of their background in psychotherapy or counseling. Traci and Dr. Turner’s conversation ends with his wish for you, the listener, to think about what one or two things you can do within your own community to benefit the life of someone else. Don’t miss out on this important and timely conversation! 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:34] Meet Dr. Turner 

[05:25] Dr. Turner’s book 

[10:17] Aha moments in writing Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy 

[13:40] Creating justice and equality out of disgust 

[19:23] What Dr. Turner hopes the impact of his book will be 

[26:43] The balance between being an individual and adapting to society 

[36:09] Psychotherapy’s participation in other-ing 

[39:58] Dr. Turner’s wish for you

[42:52] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Identity is formed at an early age by what we are not as well as what we are. And then our egos fight tooth and nail to maintain that sense of self.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“We are a far bigger creature than the one we created as a child.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“There’s a chance to learn something more out of difference if we can move beyond things like disgust or shame or rage that we’ve been taught.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“Any drive towards understanding difference, otherness, privilege, has to come from a moral and ethical and soul-like place in oneself.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“There’s a balancing act between duty to oneself and duty to those around you.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“We can’t divorce culture from family.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

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Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

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Meredith Bell shares her 30+ years of knowledge on connecting more effectively | Meredith Bell

Meredith Bell shares her 30+ years of knowledge on connecting more effectively | Meredith Bell

April 20, 2021

Meredith Bell has been helping individuals and teams communicate and connect more effectively for over 30 years. Since she began her career, a lot has changed in the ways we communicate (thanks, smartphones!), but a lot of the fundamentals—like building trust, how to encourage someone well, and practicing neutrality and curiosity—have remained the same. Even though there’s now seemingly more ways to connect than ever before, Meredith’s work is probably more vital today than it has ever been.

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with Meredith, an individual she has admired from afar for a while now, on how to build genuine connection in a time when it’s all too easy to hide behind an email or text message. Throughout their conversation, Meredith talks about taking things personally, the four ways to encourage someone, and why it takes practice and accountability to re-wire our brains for connection. No matter what your work environment is like today or who you surround yourself with at work and in life, this episode on connection and communication is one you need to hear this week.

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro

[02:36] Meet Meredith

[07:24] What has changed, and what hasn’t, in the 30 years Meredith has been in the field

[12:59] Taking things personally

[17:26] How to build up safety and trust in the workplace

[22:39] Getting neutrality and curiosity to stick

[27:02] The practice and accountability behind re-wiring our brains for connection

[30:04] Four ways to encourage someone

[36:58] Meredith’s books

[38:27] Meredith’s word for you 

[42:08] Outro

 

Resources Mentioned

 Connect with your Team: Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills

 Strong for Performance: Create a coaching culture with learning & development programs that stick

 Peer Coaching Made Simple: How to do the 6 things that matter most when helping someone improve a skill

 The Prosperous Coach: Increase income and impact for you and your clients

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“One of our key goals is to help alleviate the unnecessary pain that often exists in the workplaces.”

—Meredith Bell

“Focus on serving that other person. It doesn’t matter who it is or what your past relationship has been. If you think about, how can I be present for them in a way that really serves them, it just makes a huge difference in the way that the whole interaction goes.”

—Meredith Bell

“I make a point to make note of things about a person that I genuinely appreciate in the moment.”

—Meredith Bell

“Every single person, no matter how you measure their success, we all have this need to be acknowledged and appreciated and valued.”

—Meredith Bell

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Nicola Lipscombe on bringing belonging and heart-centered connection into the workplace | Nicola Lipscombe

Nicola Lipscombe on bringing belonging and heart-centered connection into the workplace | Nicola Lipscombe

April 12, 2021

At some point in our lives, we’ve probably all felt like we didn’t belong. For Nicola Lipscombe, that sense of not belonging came to a head while she was working in academia and doctors discovered a cancerous tumor in her chest. Nicola knew it was time for a change, and thus began the second half of her career where belonging and heart-centeredness have taken center stage. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with Nicola on all things belonging, listening, and connection. Nicola now brings her knowledge into the workplace, hosting retreats and intensives where she helps those in the corporate world discover the power of holding space for others and themselves. Traci and Nicola discuss why they believe it’s fun to hold space for others, how to convince Type A personalities that they won’t be any less productive if they start connecting better, and how intentional listening can help us connect during a pandemic. Whether you’re already a connection guru or you could use a little more heartfelt connection in your life, you won’t want to miss this episode. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:36] Meet Nicola 

[09:27] How Nicola’s relationship to belonging shifted 

[14:38] Heart-centered connection and belonging in the workplace 

[22:47] “Embody” and “space-holding” according to Nicola 

[30:16] Why it’s fun to hold space for others 

[36:37] Converting Type A, driven personalities to operate out of their heart-center 

[42:17] Nicola’s word for you

[44:32] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

NicolaLipscombe.com 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“We crave and yearn for connection, yet we can be scared to be vulnerable enough for that to occur.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“When you have that sense within yourself, you actually have more capacity to be with others and create that for others because you’re not so worried about yourself.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“Embodiment is the act of settling into your body, into your skin, into the space that you inhabit. There’s an element of mindfulness, of being fully present in the moment, but it comes from being grounded within your body.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“If we really want to fully connect with another human being, we have to embrace our own personal humanity, otherwise you’ve got a sort of half-human trying to connect with another half-human in a fully human way. It doesn’t work.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“You grow in yourself through the act of being consciously present, openly listening to another.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“Don’t underestimate the power of listening to be able to be a beautiful replacement for that human physical touch, because you can think of listening as a hug you can give with your ears.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Artist Daren Todd  talks art, love, and accountability | Daren Todd

Artist Daren Todd talks art, love, and accountability | Daren Todd

April 5, 2021

For many, art is a language all its own. This has never been more true for Daren Todd, a Portland-based musician turned painter who discovered painting during quarantine when he lost his bartending job. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down with Daren to hear his story of gaining a following for his painting through Reddit, starting Art Larger Than Me, and his thoughts on how art can serve as both love language and accountability for the battles our country is fighting within itself. 

Daren is a transgender Black man who always saw art, specifically music, as a way to express himself. But when the pandemic hit, painting became a way to express himself and connect with others in a whole new way. Together, Traci and Daren talk about how art has impacted Daren, his feelings about the Capitol Insurrection, and how art can help us create emblems of accountability that help us as a collective address our different shades of shame and racism to create a more inclusive and equal society. Daren is a dynamic advocate for the power of art and loving those around us while still holding them accountable. Don’t miss this important episode!  

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:08] Meet Daren 

[11:52] The heart behind Art Larger than Me 

[14:48] How Daren hopes his art serves the marginalized communities he’s apart of 

[16:40] Art as language 

[19:32] Art’s impact on Daren 

[22:37] Daren’s rebellious spirit as an artist 

[26:03] Traci and Daren’s shared Santa Barbara history 

[27:27] The impact of the Capitol Insurrection on Daren 

[32:21] Emblems of accountability 

[37:13] Shame in our societal consciousness  

[43:41] Daren’s word for you

[45:33] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Art Larger than Me 

The Downstairs Gallery  

The Neighborhood Arts Collective  

It’s Future Time 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“I’m almost glad I didn’t go to art school because I see so many people that have gone that are just so jaded and broken down and beaten down by that system.”
—Daren Todd 

“I try to use that gift that I’ve been given to reach out to people that maybe haven’t been reached or aren’t being reached, and to speak for people who haven’t found a way to speak or have been silenced.”
—Daren Todd 

“I believe that art is a language that transcends dialects and can say a lot, and it’s open to interpretation by every person because no two people see the same.”
—Daren Todd 

“I believe that it’s not so much about the outcome as it is about the daily practice, and when you focus on the practice, the outcome comes secondary.”
—Daren Todd 

“How much more time are we going to have to wait for a simple right to life, to freedom, to justice, to the pursuit of our happiness? And we’re not asking to be held above, we’re literally just asking to be equal.”
—Daren Todd 

“You’re not going to get anywhere by avoiding things that make you uncomfortable.”
—Daren Todd 

“I never want to shame someone for where they were. I just want to help them get to a better place.”
—Daren Todd 

“The most grounded I feel on this earth is when I’m reaching out to help someone else. And I think if each one of us just shared a little bit of what we had, there’d be more than enough to go around.”
—Daren Todd 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Dr. Kelsey Crowe on empathy and listening well | Dr. Kelsey Crowe

Dr. Kelsey Crowe on empathy and listening well | Dr. Kelsey Crowe

March 29, 2021

Listening well isn’t an easy skill for most of us. We like to talk, and in a culture that values productivity and solutions above all else, simply listening can often feel like we’re not being useful. Dr. Kelsey Crowe, author of There is No Good Card for This, thinks differently. 

An empathy coach and founder of the nonprofit, Help Each Other Out, Kelsey knows a thing or two about listening—making it her mission in life to teach us how to empathize in an increasingly self-centered world. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci and Kelsey laugh and listen together, talking about all things empathy, connection, and attention. 

Throughout their conversation, Kelsey shares with us her three basic rules on empathy for idiots, how we can ask for the attention we need, and the value of gestures. Especially during a season where we’re dealing with more uncertainty than ever, empathy is so important—not just for others, but also for ourselves. If you’re looking for a practical guide to becoming a better listener, and better person and friend in the process, look no further than this dynamic and empathetic conversation between Traci and Kelsey. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:24] Meet Kelsey 

[06:51] What Kelsey discovered about empathy 

[09:45] Kelsey’s rules on empathy for idiots everywhere 

[15:09] Why it’s hard for us to not be useful 

[22:23] How we ask for the attention we need 

[26:23] The value of gestures 

[31:25] What Kelsey’s working on next 

[34:39] Sidewalk Talk in Germany and during COVID-19 

[37:17] Listening during conflict 

[40:26] How can we show up differently for others during COVID 

[44:55] Kelsey’s wish for you 

[46:40] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

There is No Good Card for This: What to say and do when life is scary, awful, and unfair to people you love

Help Each Other Out

The Empathy Bootcamp

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“The value of hearing someone else, truly hearing, cannot be underestimated.”
—Kelsey Crowe 

“If we’re thinking about how we’re going to respond, we’re not truly taking in what somebody’s feeling.”
—Kelsey Crowe 

“When people are talking, they don’t only want to be validated. Sometimes it’s actually an opportunity for them to understand and build their experience in the course of telling it. And providing people the space to do that is tremendous.”
—Kelsey Crowe 

“We find that listening is unproductive, that it’s not useful, when it’s so useful. So our definition of what’s useful has to expand to include presence and attention. Attention is useful.”
—Kelsey Crowe 

“We need to figure out more and more ways to display emotional intelligence that’s beyond just how we talk to people.”
—Kelsey Crowe 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Thomas C Knox shows us how to connect again | Thomas C Knox

Thomas C Knox shows us how to connect again | Thomas C Knox

March 22, 2021

Thomas C Knox is a connector like no other. The founder of multiple organizations all focused on fostering relationships and space for vulnerability between people, this guy is the real deal. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down with Thomas, her good friend and part of the Sidewalk Talk team, to discuss how to stay connected during quarantine and relating to others even when it seems like you have nothing in common. 

Thomas is the face behind Date While you Wait—a company he started in response to the stories of friends and family who told him their commute was one of the worst parts of their day. In response, Thomas stepped in with a card table and a Connect Four set, inviting commuters on the New York City subway to sit down for a chat or just a game. With a personality that made space for vulnerability and connection look easy, Date While you Wait gained national attention, and is now being turned into a TV show. 

Traci and Thomas talk about how connection has changed during the COVID-19 quarantine, the willingness to step out of our comfort zones to still be there for people even if we can’t be close physically, and why finding something you can relate to with another person is the first step to realizing maybe we’re not so different after all. Don’t miss this important episode on how connecting with others matters now more than ever. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:37] Meet Thomas 

[11:40] Thomas’ relationship with his mom and how it shaped him 

[14:21] Thomas’ Mother’s Day surprise 

[19:30] How Thomas takes care of himself 

[22:57] Honoring Thomas’ friend, Lloyd, who passed away 

[27:27] Relating with others and being vulnerable 

[33:46] Thomas’ organizations and what he’s working on right now 

[36:50] How to connect during quarantine 

[40:29] Sidewalk Talk phone-banking 

[45:13] Mental Health Awareness month at Sidewalk Talk 

[47:14] Thomas’ word for you  

[50:16] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Date While you Wait 

BeGreat Bow Ties

The Connection Collective 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“I just wanted to do something kind for moms. We’re lucky to have them, and we wouldn’t be here without our moms.”
—Thomas C Knox 

“The best way to give back is to pay it forward—do it for somebody else. Put a smile on somebody else’s face. That’s something that really matters to me.”
—Thomas C Knox 

“Everyone has something in them that someone else has, but we fight it. Once we identify what we have in common, it’s easier for us to relate.”
—Thomas C Knox 

“For us to be able to find ways to adapt and still listen to our community is something that is not easy, it can be a challenge. And I’m really proud to be a part of an organization that realizes that there are people that still need our support and still need to be listened to.”
—Thomas C Knox 

“Show love, because we need it now more than ever.”
—Thomas C Knox 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Open Bubble’s George de la Ville Bauge on combatting loneliness | George de la Ville Bauge

Open Bubble’s George de la Ville Bauge on combatting loneliness | George de la Ville Bauge

March 15, 2021

Loneliness is something that has probably plagued all of us at different points in our lives, but it’s a feeling that has been more prevalent this past year than any before with a global pandemic that sent us all into our homes. But what if that feeling of loneliness could be combatted safely, from our homes, and through the help of strangers? Enter Open Bubble’s George de la Ville Bauge. 

The Frenchman developed the connection app Open Bubble before COVID-19 became a reality last spring, but its inception has been instrumental in combatting a pandemic of loneliness in the elderly and young alike in this year of social distancing. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with George all about Open Bubble, why he decided to use an app to address the loneliness he was feeling in his own life, and why connecting with strangers is such a gift. Don’t miss this timely and important conversation that can help us all step outside of our bubbles to lead less lonely lives. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:44] Meet George 

[08:20] Open Bubble 

[11:34] The gift of connecting strangers  

[17:11] Why George chose to combat loneliness through an app 

[26:00] Getting in touch with our humanity again 

[30:08] How meeting strangers impacts loneliness 

[37:48] George’s wish for you 

[41:00] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Open Bubble 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Loneliness is not only being isolated, you can be lonely with people around; you can be lonely because you think in different ways. What we’re trying to do is tackle the feeling of loneliness.”
—George de la Ville Bauge 

“There are two hurdles we are trying to solve: whether the other person is available, and what are we going to talk about.”
—George de la Ville Bauge 

“We all live in bubbles, and at some point, it’s very beneficial to open a window into one of those bubbles and let some air come in.”
—George de la Ville Bauge 

“Any war in the world, between neighbors or between countries, starts because people don’t understand each other.”
—George de la Ville Bauge 

“I just want to get people in touch with each other and let the magic happen.”
—George de la Ville Bauge 

“Nothing really brings more joy than connection with another person. You can find real joy talking with another human who you didn’t know ten minutes before.”
—George de la Ville Bauge 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back author Alicia Cook tells us the stories we need to hear | Alicia Cook

Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back author Alicia Cook tells us the stories we need to hear | Alicia Cook

March 8, 2021

Drug addiction and the loneliness and mental health struggles that often precede it are highly talked about issues facing our country right now, but that wasn’t always the case. Back in 2006, when author Alicia Cook’s cousin, Jess, died of an overdose, death from drug addiction was often swept under the rug. While it’s become much more of a frontline policy talking point in the years since, people like Alicia are still determined, maybe now more than ever after the year we’ve had, to tell the stories of families plagued by the dual issues of drug addiction and mental health. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down with Alicia, author of the wildly beloved book of poems, Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back, to discuss the biggest lessons Alicia’s learned about drug addiction and loss throughout her journey, the intention behind her book, and the policy changes around drug addiction and mental health both women hope to see happen in the near future. 

Alicia’s journey of becoming a voice to this voiceless population of people affected by drug addiction really started when her cousin Jess overdosed at the age of 19. Alicia takes a few minutes to honor Jess during this conversation, sharing the other stories that have touched her the most in the process. Traci and Alicia’s conversation concludes with Alicia’s mission to give voice to the loneliness of our generation, and her word for you: everything is temporary, sometimes we just have to wait for the sun to come up on a new day. This is a vitally important conversation, don’t miss it. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:02] Meet Alicia 

[06:50] Honoring Alicia’s cousin, Jess Cook  

[11:33] The biggest lessons Alicia has learned on her journey 

[14:56] The stories that have touched Alicia the most 

[20:04] Alicia’s intention for Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back 

[26:55] How Alicia has fun amidst writing about a lot of heavy stuff 

[29:46] Giving voice to loneliness 

[34:35] Policy changes around drug addiction and mental health 

[41:09] Alicia’s self-care routine 

[45:26] Alicia’s word and poem for you

[48:12] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back

I hope My Voice Doesn’t Skip 

Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“There wasn’t a voice for these families, and I inevitably became that voice.”
—Alicia Cook 

“It’s always so scary to put something so vulnerable and personal out there into the world. But what I’ve learned is, it’s necessary.”
—Alicia Cook 

“Dismantling the stigma—the number one weapon we have to do this is our storytelling.”
—Alicia Cook  

“Advocates are born the minute someone they love dies.”
—Alicia Cook

“Our mental health, whether we’re in a good state or a bad state, touches so many parts of our lives, and it’s impossible to compartmentalize, even though the world tells us we need to compartmentalize.”
—Alicia Cook 

“When someone wants to recover, and wants to begin that journey, there needs to be a bed for them. They need help immediately—they can’t wait another day.”
—Alicia Cook  

“Even if you feel like things can’t get any worse, that things won’t get better in your life, you need to just hold on, because everything is temporary. Sometimes you just have to wait for the sun to rise and a better day to begin.”
—Alicia Cook 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

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