Sidewalk Talk
Squish Talks’ Stuart Chittenden on the power of conversation | Stuart Chittenden

Squish Talks’ Stuart Chittenden on the power of conversation | Stuart Chittenden

June 15, 2021

Stuart Chittenden is a highly interesting character. A lawyer by trade, he moved to Omaha, Nebraska from England after marrying his wife and grew fascinated by the inherent power of conversation. That fascination led him to start Squish Talks—the organization he has leveraged to unlock human potential in all areas of society simply through conversation. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci laughs, learns, and grows from her conversation with Stuart as they converse about all things politics, crying, crying about politics, the movie “Inside Out,” and their plans for a COVID coming out party. As many questions as Traci asks him, Stuart asks them right back to her, and what results is an engaging back and forth about Squish Talks and Sidewalk Talk and how these two individuals are using their platforms to create a world built on connection. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:34] Meet Stuart 

[07:02] Stuart asks Traci why she started Sidewalk Talk 

[07:58] The heart behind Squish Talks and Sidewalk Talk 

[12:40] Stuart’s travels around Nebraska and what it taught him 

[14:53] Crying after the last presidential election and Stuart’s feelings now 

[18:03] How Stuart recovered from the election and regained his belief in conversation 

[23:34] Practices and experiences to carry forward post-COVID 

[26:48] Coming out of COVID party 

[30:27] How Stuart finds ways to engage in dialogue politically 

[36:22] Listening, silence, and humor as components of dialogue 

[41:11] What’s next for Stuart 

[44:17] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Squish Talks

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Conversation does have the power to connect people, but it also affirmed my sense that people have a desperate, and deep, and profound yearning to be seen by other people.”
—Stuart Chittenden 

“A conversation is never meant to share a truth with someone else. It’s meant to share your truth and to help someone else, too. It’s not about correcting something; it’s about connecting something.”
—Stuart Chittenden 

“I don’t need to know at this point which way did you vote, I just need to know that as a human being you’re awed by the majesty of this.”
—Stuart Chittenden 

“Unless I’m in-person with someone, I’ve found it’s pointless to engage in politics with someone.”
—Stuart Chittenden 

“I’m struggling to let my own beliefs go or stop them getting in the way of listening to someone else. And that’s work that I need to keep doing.”
—Stuart Chittenden 

“I don’t think we ask enough genuine, authentic, I-want-to-hear-your-answer kinds of questions of other people, of the world, of ourselves.”
—Stuart Chittenden 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Stuart Chittenden  

At SquishTalks.com 

On LinkedIn: @StuartChittenden

On Instagram: @squishtalks

On Twitter: @SquishTalks 

On Facebook: @SquishTalks 

 

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Dr. Fernando Castrillon on psychoanalysis, capitalism, and loneliness | Dr. Fernando Castrillon

Dr. Fernando Castrillon on psychoanalysis, capitalism, and loneliness | Dr. Fernando Castrillon

June 8, 2021

Psychoanalysis has long been thought of as outdated, misogynistic, and even racist—a type of therapy for the rich and privileged. In fact, Dr. Fernando Castrillon thought as much himself when he first encountered psychoanalysis, but has since changed his mind, and is working to change the minds of others through his work and words on the subject. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with Dr. Fernando on all things psychoanalysis, how it differs from more typical forms of therapy practiced in the West, and how a psychoanalyst would address our society’s loneliness epidemic. During their conversation, Traci even shares her anger at psychotherapy with Dr. Fernando, inviting him to respond, and maybe even change listeners’ viewpoints on this practice that started with the likes of Freud and Lacan. The episode ends with Dr. Fernando’s word for you, the Sidewalk Talk listener, reiterating that psychoanalysis is, at its heart, an unlearning that makes room for another person to bring themself forward. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:46] Meet Dr. Fernando 

[08:56] Overview of psychoanalysis and the California Dream  

[16:03] Psychoanalysis versus more “typical” therapy approaches 

[20:31] What Lacan would say about Sidewalk Talk 

[27:54] Output and a lack of receptivity in our culture 

[32:23] Traci’s anger at psychotherapy and Dr. Fernando’s response 

[36:50] The psychoanalysis of our society’s loneliness epidemic  

[44:44] Dr. Fernando’s word for you

[47:12] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

European Journal of Psychoanalysis 

California Institute of Integral Studies 

Clinic Without Walls 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“My job then is to sit there and listen to what might arise from this place of lack, as opposed to somehow nullifying it by trying to fill it in with something. That runs directly counter to the discourse of capitalism.”
—Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

“There’s nothing that will do in, or make an encounter or an analysis fall apart more than one person thinking that by having a certain set of theoretical knowledge that they know more than the other. It makes you close your ears.”
—Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

“Theory is important to carve out our ear, but you’ve got to leave theory at the door the moment you have an encounter with somebody, otherwise all you’re doing is essentially trying to apply an ideology to a human. That’s violence.”
—Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

“We all have floaties. Psychoanalysis at its best is constantly deflating those floaties.”
—Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

“The more that we can empty ourselves out, the more the other will come forward. The less we are reliant on finding our footing in the world by trying to make the other give us a place, the more that the other will come through that is just them.”
—Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

“In the end, the best psychoanalytic training is an unlearning.”
—Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Dr. Fernando Castrillon 

At DrCastrillon.com

On LinkedIn: @DrFernandoCastrillon 

 

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Teaching, connection, and transforming pain in kids with Michael McKnight | Michael McKnight

Teaching, connection, and transforming pain in kids with Michael McKnight | Michael McKnight

May 25, 2021

Michael McKnight is an educator at heart. Although he no longer teaches in the New Jersey classroom where he got his start and now has a handful of accolades and additional titles to his name, Michael is still as passionate now as he was four decades ago about connecting with students in ways that empower them to learn, not just stuff their heads with more information. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down with Michael to chat about all things education, technology in the classroom, and the research that gets Michael the most excited about the future of education. Michael specializes in working with kids who have endured adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), but although these kids have gone through more than many adults at a young age, Michael holds on to his characteristic optimism and hope that kids’ pain-based behavior can be transformed by teachers like him who put kids and connection first. During the episode, Michael even shares his advice for parents walking through a global pandemic and the subsequent disruption of the education system with their kids. Parent, teacher, student, or someone in between—don’t skip this episode with Michael McKnight! 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:52] Meet Michael 

[07:31] The hope in transforming a kid’s pain-based behavior 

[09:22] Michael’s mentors and the research that gets him excited  

[13:40] Quality connection versus the obedience model in schools today 

[16:07] Michael’s advice to parents: rupture and repair  

[21:02] How Michael stays optimistic about educating kids 

[25:47] ACE’s: adverse childhood experiences 

[27:12] Technology and connection in kids and the classroom 

[35:50] Michael’s word for you

[40:00] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Life Space Crisis Intervention

Unwritten: The Story of a Living System

Stockton University

“Resilience: The biology of stress and the science of hope”

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Most of our most troubled kids are really kids that carry enormous amounts of pain, and that behavior that we see, we call it pain-based behavior—behaviors by kids in pain.”
—Michael McKnight 

“For the most part, young people learn not so much about whatever it is they’re studying—they learn from teachers they like.”
—Michael McKnight 

“Parenting is absolutely a task that is impossible to do perfectly. And I think we have to give ourselves a little bit of room there.”
—Michael McKnight 

“We focus on credential-izing, we focus on content, and then we wonder why teachers are in the classroom and that’s all they do.”
—Michael McKnight 

“I don’t see technology as being a specific kid problem. I think it’s an adult problem because it’s so easy to get caught up in it. It becomes an extension of self almost.”
—Michael McKnight 

“This isn’t about fixing you—it’s really just about getting to know you and seeing who you are, and that dynamic affects me as much as you, maybe me more than you.”
—Michael McKnight 

“At our core, we’re really feeling creatures who think. Human beings are feeling creatures who think. And we have to be able to go into emotions because they drive learning, they drive attention, they drive everything we do. And yet in many areas we’ve kind of disconnected that and kept this illusion that teaching and learning is purely an intellectual pursuit. It is not.”
—Michael McKnight

“Without that connection, many of our kids are there in body but not in mind. And our schools need to be able to shift from their current model of thinking to something much more alive and something much more whole and natural.”
—Michael McKnight 

 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Michael McKnight 

On LinkedIn: @MichaelMcKnight

On Twitter: @mmcknight32

On Facebook: @MichaelMcKnight 

 

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Dr. Kristin Moody on how empathy can change the world | Dr. Kristin Moody

Dr. Kristin Moody on how empathy can change the world | Dr. Kristin Moody

May 18, 2021

Dr. Kristin Moody started out her career as a teacher passionate about deeply connecting with her students. That connection, and her subsequent interest in the study of empathy, propelled Kristin into a career in just that—launching Empathy at Work and spending her time studying the science behind empathy and how we connect to one another. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with Kristin on all things empathy, emotional contagion, self-care and mindfulness, and Kristin’s hopes for how the world can change for the better when it comes to empathy. In a continually more divided, and digitized, society, empathy can be hard. But it’s not impossible, and Kristin is here to give us the tools necessary to practicing empathy more authentically every day. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:19] Meet Dr. Kristin 

[05:27] Kristin’s definitions of empathy  

[11:48] The physiology behind empathy and emotional contagion 

[21:55] Empathizing in a digital world   

[25:35] Connecting to different types of people, self-care, and mindfulness 

[30:40] Meditation  

[32:35] Social media’s impact on the brain 

[37:16] Kristin’s hopes for how the world can change  

[42:53] Kristin’s word for you

[45:10] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

EmpathyAtWork.net

The Mindfulness Coaching School

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“I am deeply called to learn from others, and that evolved into an understanding of what empathy is. Which I think is learning from and being allowed to be shaped by others in a way that we have a biology for and we have a physiology for.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

“Empathy is a focused attention on another. The acceptance of that person’s truth without judgement. An accurate interpretation of that person’s emotional state. And then a response to that person’s state with parity.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

“Empathy really just is about sitting in and holding space with someone and being able to share a feeling.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

“If you have true empathy, it doesn’t have to be exhausting because it’s a choice.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

“I can make a decision to flip the switch at any time and really listen to somebody and practice, and I can also make the decision at any time to turn it off and move through my life, to put blinders on. But that also means that sometimes you just have to go inwards and put blinders on so that you can sit down in the right situations and totally be open-hearted.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

“There are times when you can turn it off, so that when it really matters you can turn it on.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

“There’s just something about the idea of believing people, accepting their truth without judgement. Recognizing that their experience is different than yours or recognizing that the way that they’re experiencing something is making it different than yours.”
—Dr. Kristin Moody 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Dr. Kristin Moody

At EvolveNetwork.me

On LinkedIn: @KristinMoody

On Instagram: @empathy_at_work

 

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The Art of Hosting’s Toke Paludan Moeller on learning and spiritual practice | Toke Paludan Moeller

The Art of Hosting’s Toke Paludan Moeller on learning and spiritual practice | Toke Paludan Moeller

May 11, 2021

Toke Paludan Moeller was born a few years after World War II into a lineage of learners. His Danish ancestors include a cadre of individuals who spent their lives doing things from resisting the Nazis to being educated in the folk schools that came after their native country’s bankruptcy. Toke has made a name for himself within his family, starting the Art of Hosting and Interchange to help us all learn to live in harmony with ourselves and others. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci gets to talk with Toke, one of her personal heroes, about the storied history that made him the person he is today, his belief that learning is a way to become a good citizen of the societies in which we live, and how to find your spiritual connection or practice and determine the work you have been called to complete in this life. This is a conversation you won’t simply listen to—you’ll feel it in your very being. Get ready for Toke to share his fount of wisdom with you. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:52] Meet Toke 

[24:03] Learning as a way to be a good citizen 

[33:53] Finding your spiritual connection and determining the work you’re called to 

[48:00] Your response to the call  

[58:11] Toke’s word for you

[1:03:00] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

The Art of Hosting

Interchange 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Before anything else, we are human beings, and we can learn.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“I’m a seeker of wisdom wherever I can get it.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“One of the downfalls of the long-term evolution of our societies is the separation, the divorce in some places, between education and learning.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“We are fantastically endowed to excel in learning. And when we learn together, it’s an equalizer.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“We need peaceful warriorship in the world.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“When we are comfortable and when we are in that harmony, we are kind and so willing to give.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“Living in love and peace is not an old stupid hippie idea. This is how the fucking universe works.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“If we can live the future we want a little more every day, eventually it will be so.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“This is the time to remember who we are and to not be afraid of going on the most important exploration that we can do: to discover who we really are.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

“What you practice, you will become.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Dr. Niobe Way on solving the crisis of connection | Dr. Niobe Way

Dr. Niobe Way on solving the crisis of connection | Dr. Niobe Way

May 4, 2021

For the last century or so, we’ve been told that we—humans—are the problem, not the society in which we live. What if the opposite was actually true? Dr. Niobe Way thinks so, and she’s ready to tell you why. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down for a conversation with NYU professor and founder of the Project for the Advancement of our Common Humanity (PACH), Dr. Niobe Way. 

Dr. Niobe founded PACH after spending years talking with students in middle school classrooms, specifically boys, about their feelings when it comes to friendship, life, and connection. Throughout their conversation, Traci and Niobe tackle the many issues embedded within our culture that work to de-humanize us, Niobe’s newest initiative—The Listening Project—and the power of transformative interviewing, and the scientific evidence pointing to the current crisis of connection we’re facing not only in the U.S., but around the world. If you’ve ever wondered if a single person determined to listen and not judge the individual sitting across from them can change the world, this is your proof that listening can in fact restore our humanity and change our culture for the better. Sit with Traci and Niobe as they engage in this heavy, yet hopeful, conversation. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:07] Meet Dr. Niobe Way 

[15:05] Issues in the culture that de-humanize us 

[21:13] Niobe’s story on friendships between boys in the classroom  

[28:45] The Listening Project and transformative interviewing 

[45:37] Traci and Niobe’s dreams for disrupting the culture and addressing the crisis of connection 

[48:32] The scientific evidence behind the crisis of connection  

[54:59] Niobe’s word for you 

[1:01] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

PACH – The Project for the Advancement of our Common Humanity 

The Science of Human Connection

Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection 

The Crisis of Connection: Roots, Consequences, and Solutions 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“We born wanting, starving, for connection to each other. And that’s basically all we want in our lives: to be deeply connected to one another and to connect to ourselves as well.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“We’ve created a culture that clashes with our nature.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“We say, ‘the problem is you, not the culture in which you live.’”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“The problem is that we have created this culture that’s based on this hierarchy of humanness. It’s very critical that we stop taking the symptom and treating it as if it’s the problem, because it’s a symptom of a problem.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“If it’s just about holding hands and being nice to each other, it’s not going to get far because we’re not disrupting the fundamental structure that creates the problem.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“At the root of all good connection is interpersonal curiosity.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“The question is not, ‘how do we punish that person? But, ‘how do we understand what happened so that it doesn’t happen again?’”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“Listening is not just simply about shutting up. It’s about engaging with people around their questions. Learning from someone else about the answers to your own questions. Valuing interpersonal curiosity. Seeing connection not just as connecting on social media, but actually allowing someone to be seen, and heard, and listened to.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

“We need to start from a place of humanity and who we are as humans, in order for us to get to a more just and humane place. And until we start from that place, we’re never going to get there.”
—Dr. Niobe Way 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Dr. Dwight Turner on otherness, race, and the benefits of psychotherapy | Dr. Dwight Turner

Dr. Dwight Turner on otherness, race, and the benefits of psychotherapy | Dr. Dwight Turner

April 27, 2021

Dr. Dwight Turner has been studying and teaching on the concepts of otherness, race, and justice in psychotherapy long before they were trending topics in culture. He recently put out his first book on just that topic, in the hopes that readers will walk away with a better understanding of their own privilege and tendencies to otherize in culture today. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci gets to sit down with Dr. Turner to discuss his book, the idea of creating equality and justice out of disgust, and the balance between being an individual and adapting to society, especially when it comes to the COVID-19 pandemic. This is a thought-provoking and engaging conversation between therapists, but also one that is accessible to anyone, regardless of their background in psychotherapy or counseling. Traci and Dr. Turner’s conversation ends with his wish for you, the listener, to think about what one or two things you can do within your own community to benefit the life of someone else. Don’t miss out on this important and timely conversation! 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:34] Meet Dr. Turner 

[05:25] Dr. Turner’s book 

[10:17] Aha moments in writing Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy 

[13:40] Creating justice and equality out of disgust 

[19:23] What Dr. Turner hopes the impact of his book will be 

[26:43] The balance between being an individual and adapting to society 

[36:09] Psychotherapy’s participation in other-ing 

[39:58] Dr. Turner’s wish for you

[42:52] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“Identity is formed at an early age by what we are not as well as what we are. And then our egos fight tooth and nail to maintain that sense of self.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“We are a far bigger creature than the one we created as a child.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“There’s a chance to learn something more out of difference if we can move beyond things like disgust or shame or rage that we’ve been taught.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“Any drive towards understanding difference, otherness, privilege, has to come from a moral and ethical and soul-like place in oneself.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“There’s a balancing act between duty to oneself and duty to those around you.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

“We can’t divorce culture from family.”
—Dr. Dwight Turner 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Meredith Bell shares her 30+ years of knowledge on connecting more effectively | Meredith Bell

Meredith Bell shares her 30+ years of knowledge on connecting more effectively | Meredith Bell

April 20, 2021

Meredith Bell has been helping individuals and teams communicate and connect more effectively for over 30 years. Since she began her career, a lot has changed in the ways we communicate (thanks, smartphones!), but a lot of the fundamentals—like building trust, how to encourage someone well, and practicing neutrality and curiosity—have remained the same. Even though there’s now seemingly more ways to connect than ever before, Meredith’s work is probably more vital today than it has ever been.

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with Meredith, an individual she has admired from afar for a while now, on how to build genuine connection in a time when it’s all too easy to hide behind an email or text message. Throughout their conversation, Meredith talks about taking things personally, the four ways to encourage someone, and why it takes practice and accountability to re-wire our brains for connection. No matter what your work environment is like today or who you surround yourself with at work and in life, this episode on connection and communication is one you need to hear this week.

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro

[02:36] Meet Meredith

[07:24] What has changed, and what hasn’t, in the 30 years Meredith has been in the field

[12:59] Taking things personally

[17:26] How to build up safety and trust in the workplace

[22:39] Getting neutrality and curiosity to stick

[27:02] The practice and accountability behind re-wiring our brains for connection

[30:04] Four ways to encourage someone

[36:58] Meredith’s books

[38:27] Meredith’s word for you 

[42:08] Outro

 

Resources Mentioned

 Connect with your Team: Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills

 Strong for Performance: Create a coaching culture with learning & development programs that stick

 Peer Coaching Made Simple: How to do the 6 things that matter most when helping someone improve a skill

 The Prosperous Coach: Increase income and impact for you and your clients

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“One of our key goals is to help alleviate the unnecessary pain that often exists in the workplaces.”

—Meredith Bell

“Focus on serving that other person. It doesn’t matter who it is or what your past relationship has been. If you think about, how can I be present for them in a way that really serves them, it just makes a huge difference in the way that the whole interaction goes.”

—Meredith Bell

“I make a point to make note of things about a person that I genuinely appreciate in the moment.”

—Meredith Bell

“Every single person, no matter how you measure their success, we all have this need to be acknowledged and appreciated and valued.”

—Meredith Bell

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Nicola Lipscombe on bringing belonging and heart-centered connection into the workplace | Nicola Lipscombe

Nicola Lipscombe on bringing belonging and heart-centered connection into the workplace | Nicola Lipscombe

April 12, 2021

At some point in our lives, we’ve probably all felt like we didn’t belong. For Nicola Lipscombe, that sense of not belonging came to a head while she was working in academia and doctors discovered a cancerous tumor in her chest. Nicola knew it was time for a change, and thus began the second half of her career where belonging and heart-centeredness have taken center stage. 

On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci talks with Nicola on all things belonging, listening, and connection. Nicola now brings her knowledge into the workplace, hosting retreats and intensives where she helps those in the corporate world discover the power of holding space for others and themselves. Traci and Nicola discuss why they believe it’s fun to hold space for others, how to convince Type A personalities that they won’t be any less productive if they start connecting better, and how intentional listening can help us connect during a pandemic. Whether you’re already a connection guru or you could use a little more heartfelt connection in your life, you won’t want to miss this episode. 

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[02:36] Meet Nicola 

[09:27] How Nicola’s relationship to belonging shifted 

[14:38] Heart-centered connection and belonging in the workplace 

[22:47] “Embody” and “space-holding” according to Nicola 

[30:16] Why it’s fun to hold space for others 

[36:37] Converting Type A, driven personalities to operate out of their heart-center 

[42:17] Nicola’s word for you

[44:32] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

NicolaLipscombe.com 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“We crave and yearn for connection, yet we can be scared to be vulnerable enough for that to occur.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“When you have that sense within yourself, you actually have more capacity to be with others and create that for others because you’re not so worried about yourself.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“Embodiment is the act of settling into your body, into your skin, into the space that you inhabit. There’s an element of mindfulness, of being fully present in the moment, but it comes from being grounded within your body.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“If we really want to fully connect with another human being, we have to embrace our own personal humanity, otherwise you’ve got a sort of half-human trying to connect with another half-human in a fully human way. It doesn’t work.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“You grow in yourself through the act of being consciously present, openly listening to another.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

“Don’t underestimate the power of listening to be able to be a beautiful replacement for that human physical touch, because you can think of listening as a hug you can give with your ears.”
—Nicola Lipscombe 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Artist Daren Todd  talks art, love, and accountability | Daren Todd

Artist Daren Todd talks art, love, and accountability | Daren Todd

April 5, 2021

For many, art is a language all its own. This has never been more true for Daren Todd, a Portland-based musician turned painter who discovered painting during quarantine when he lost his bartending job. On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci sits down with Daren to hear his story of gaining a following for his painting through Reddit, starting Art Larger Than Me, and his thoughts on how art can serve as both love language and accountability for the battles our country is fighting within itself. 

Daren is a transgender Black man who always saw art, specifically music, as a way to express himself. But when the pandemic hit, painting became a way to express himself and connect with others in a whole new way. Together, Traci and Daren talk about how art has impacted Daren, his feelings about the Capitol Insurrection, and how art can help us create emblems of accountability that help us as a collective address our different shades of shame and racism to create a more inclusive and equal society. Daren is a dynamic advocate for the power of art and loving those around us while still holding them accountable. Don’t miss this important episode!  

 

Episode Milestones

[00:07] Intro 

[03:08] Meet Daren 

[11:52] The heart behind Art Larger than Me 

[14:48] How Daren hopes his art serves the marginalized communities he’s apart of 

[16:40] Art as language 

[19:32] Art’s impact on Daren 

[22:37] Daren’s rebellious spirit as an artist 

[26:03] Traci and Daren’s shared Santa Barbara history 

[27:27] The impact of the Capitol Insurrection on Daren 

[32:21] Emblems of accountability 

[37:13] Shame in our societal consciousness  

[43:41] Daren’s word for you

[45:33] Outro 

 

Resources Mentioned

Art Larger than Me 

The Downstairs Gallery  

The Neighborhood Arts Collective  

It’s Future Time 

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“I’m almost glad I didn’t go to art school because I see so many people that have gone that are just so jaded and broken down and beaten down by that system.”
—Daren Todd 

“I try to use that gift that I’ve been given to reach out to people that maybe haven’t been reached or aren’t being reached, and to speak for people who haven’t found a way to speak or have been silenced.”
—Daren Todd 

“I believe that art is a language that transcends dialects and can say a lot, and it’s open to interpretation by every person because no two people see the same.”
—Daren Todd 

“I believe that it’s not so much about the outcome as it is about the daily practice, and when you focus on the practice, the outcome comes secondary.”
—Daren Todd 

“How much more time are we going to have to wait for a simple right to life, to freedom, to justice, to the pursuit of our happiness? And we’re not asking to be held above, we’re literally just asking to be equal.”
—Daren Todd 

“You’re not going to get anywhere by avoiding things that make you uncomfortable.”
—Daren Todd 

“I never want to shame someone for where they were. I just want to help them get to a better place.”
—Daren Todd 

“The most grounded I feel on this earth is when I’m reaching out to help someone else. And I think if each one of us just shared a little bit of what we had, there’d be more than enough to go around.”
—Daren Todd 

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

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