Sidewalk Talk

Why I don’t want to die anymore with Johnny Crowder

November 10, 2022

Johnny Crowder is a suicide and abuse survivor. You've probably seen him. He's tatted up, and he's been a TEDx speaker. Johnny’s a billboard charting rock musician and a certified Recovery peer specialist. But what he's most known for is as the founder and CEO of Cope Notes, which is an online mental health platform that provides daily support to people in over 100 countries around the world.

If you have ever doubted whether you matter (and let’s be honest, how many of us haven’t?), this episode will be a balm for you. Johnny brings rock n roll vibes, vulnerability and a wisdom beyond his years to this emotional and essential conversation.


Episode Timeline

  • [00:09] Intro 
  • [0:58] Meet Johnny
  • [4:31] Johnny’s reflections on how entrepreneurship is one of the most challenging of human experiences
  • [5:57] Johnny’s relationship with his mental health (“not lovers, but roommates”)
  • [8:14] Traci’s own experiences with her mental health
  • [11:16] Johnny’s simple realisation that inspired him to create Cope Notes 
  • [13:11] Tech companies and rock stars (Johnny’s unique way of bringing together his identities)
  • [18:29] What Johnny’s learnt about human needs for connection
  • [20:48] Johnny’s reflections on his (and our) needs for relationship and support
  • [27:47] Johnny’s experience of sexual abuse… and then eventually starting a romantic relationship
  • [34:52] The familiarity of drama and intensity when we don’t believe we matter
  • [40:12] How the You Matter sentiment would solve 90% of human suffering
  • [41:21] Closing
  • [42:58] Outro


Resources Mentioned

Why I don’t want to die anymore (Johnny’s Tedx Talk)

Cope Notes


Standout Quotes

  • “I would estimate that entrepreneurship is one of the most physically and mentally and emotionally challenging things and spiritually challenging things that anybody could ever embark on.” (Johnny) 
  • “Imagine doing like a tough mudder competition where you're like climbing stuff and you're running swimming through this muck and you're exhausted and your feet are blistered and stuff, and you come out the other end, and when you get to the finish line, the finish line is the start of the Boston Marathon. And you're like what?” (Johnny)
  • “I actually find people struggling with mental illness to be having a healthy response to a very sick society.” (Traci)
  • “So if I really wanted to analyze my fierce pursuit of changing the world, it is half because I have a deep empathy for people who are just feeling the same kind of stuff that I am. But there has to be some component in there that I'm not aware of that's, like, wanting to feel like it's a good thing that I was born.” (Johnny)
  • “If I felt like I deserved nice things and I was enough and I've done enough, I would be the most chill human being on the planet.” (Johnny)



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Find | Traci Ruble


On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT


Find | Johnny Crowder


On Instagram: @JohnnyCrowderLovesYou



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