Sidewalk Talk
Integrating compassion into everyday lives | Lori Gottlieb

Integrating compassion into everyday lives | Lori Gottlieb

December 16, 2020

Who is the person you talk to the most everyday? Do you treat that individual with the love and compassion that they deserve? Your responses might change if you realize for the better that that special individual is no-one but you!

Today, Lori Gottlieb joins us to talk, connect and make understand the infiltrating power of therapy and tells us why she abstains from giving any less than her complete mind into understanding a patient’s pain and state. She is a psychotherapist, podcaster, New York Times bestselling author, nationally recognized journalist and also the weekly “Dear Therapist” columnist for The Atlantic. Lori was a journalist before she stepped into the role of a therapist and has authored the book “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”, which is being adapted as a television series. She has effortlessly voiced the inspiring role of a therapist in a seeker’s life, making known that by not being interventive and by achieving the right balance between intentions and strategy, one can help magically transform a person’s life for good.

Listen in as Lori offers her beautiful take on therapy by speaking as a seeker and also a clinician, while also shifting our focus into understanding people through a wider lens of reference. She also shares her thoughts on making her personal life known to people through her book, and how it has helped more therapists and patients alike connect with her on a personal level. We also discuss virtual therapy sessions and understand how the unprecedented times of today have brought us resilience, flexibility, creativity and adaptability, helping inspire and create hope for a better tomorrow.

Join us on this episode and understand the healing power of listening and connecting, for Lori’s are unmatchable words of wisdom!

 

Episode Milestones

[00:09] Intro

[00:58] Meet Lori Gottlieb

[03:05] Understanding Lori’s life journey

[08:55] How Lori views her hopes on her book

[12:19] Lori discusses her experience seeing a therapist

[14:11] Why therapists need not be interventive

[15:25] How Lori feels about sharing her personal life through her book

[24:05] Understanding therapy 

[25:16] Virtual therapy sessions

[34:10] Differences between listening skillfully and listening as a therapist

[36:56] Lori’s words of wisdom for the listeners

[39:55] Outro

 

Resources Mentioned

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“The more educated that people are about the process, the more interested they might become in terms of seeing what I can do for them.” – Lori Gottlieb [03:26]

“Sometimes, the lens through which we view our lives or situations can be very narrow and we don’t consider what another version of that story might look like.” - Lori Gottlieb [8:22]

“I think there’s that balance of being really strategic and intentional about what you’re doing in the room but you’re doing it with the context of who you actually are.” - Lori Gottlieb [14:22]

“I always find doing therapy really inspiring.” – Lori Gottlieb [31:14]

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Incredible Ways To Spread Empathy with Daily Haloha | Amy Giddon

Incredible Ways To Spread Empathy with Daily Haloha | Amy Giddon

December 7, 2020

Imagine a space where you could anonymously, without judgment or a sense of popularity, could connect with, refresh and uplift yourself and fellow others in a more humane way. You could be your unique self and still never feel alone, for you knew we all mattered alike.

That is what Amy Giddon had started with. Amy is the CEO and Co-founder of Daily Haloha, a mobile app and technology platform for people to connect more deeply and compassionately to themselves and to others through a shared experience of reflection and curiosity around a single daily question. Amy left her business and organizational background to listen to her true calling, and now finds herself in better alignment than she had ever before.

Listen in as Amy joins Traci on this week’s podcast to discuss self-growth and connective consciousness while sharing with us her inspirational journey as a listener with Sidewalk talk and as an entrepreneur chasing her life goals!

Self-reflective and connected conversations could do magic for you, by introducing you to an exuberant and positive world of empathy. Join us on this episode to see for yourself the magic that Amy reflects with her venture!

 

Episode Milestones

[00:09] Intro

[00:58] Meet Amy Giddon

[04:02] Understanding Amy’s life journey

[06:20] Amy talks of the Subway Therapy sticky note project at NYC

[09:47] Amy shares how she came up with the idea of “Daily Haloha”

[16:21] The foundational principles of Amy’s app

[17:06] Amy discusses the vulnerability and risks associated with her project

[21:54] Understanding the app and knowing the team behind it

[26:43] The inspiration behind Daily Haloha

[30:36] Talking “Collective Effervescence”

[33:50] Something special coming up for the listeners!

[34:38] Amy’s experience as a listener with Sidewalk-talk

[46:26] Amy’s words of wisdom for you

[48:38] Outro

 

Resources Mentioned

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“I felt so disturbed by not just the outcome of the election but also the process of the election and how that brought us into extreme division, not only socially and politically, but around our dinner tables.” – Amy Giddon [05:30]

“The only way to see it come to life was do it.” – Amy Giddon [13:48]

“It’s been an exhilarating and terrifying ride and sometimes, all in the same day.” – Amy Giddon [17:10]

“I’m understanding myself in whole new ways, I think because I’m learning a lot of things.” Amy Giddon [26:12]

“In Sidewalk listening, it’s not like you’re not supposed to listen, but you’re not supposed to insert yourself on the story and it is such a different kind of practice.”– Amy Giddon [37:58]

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Speak Up Now and Say What You Mean | Oren Jay Sofer

Speak Up Now and Say What You Mean | Oren Jay Sofer

November 19, 2020

Have you ever thought about walking a balance beam, or a gyroscope, or a tightrope walker? One is continually thrown off balance, but is every time instantly hit with the need to readjust and maintain poise. Equanimity is just that- the practice of balancing one’s mind to contain and open up to pain and discomfort while tuning it to revert to calmness.

In a moving episode today, Traci is joined by Oren Jay Sofer, founder and Guiding Teacher of Next Step Dharma, an innovative online course focused on bringing the tools of meditation to daily life, and co-founder of Mindful Healthcare. He is also the author of the book “Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication”, and has created mindfulness programs for a number of organizations, companies, and apps. 

Growing up with a mentally ill-family member, Oren was faced with the obligation to stay pretentious of his feelings and needs. And when things started falling apart in multiple ways, Oren turned to meditation and spirituality. Listen in as Oren expounds on his directional journey learning from his Buddhist teachers in India, understanding pain, empathy, humanity and non-violent communication, and housing the deep well of pain inside ourselves while generating equanimity to stay from decentering our thoughts. Oren has also shared how important it is to be willing to hold discomfort- for if we are seeking to transform the society, then no part of our action should come out of control and reactivity. 

Understanding society for its diversity and disproportion, and sitting down to listen to each other could phenomenally transform our relationships with people. We hope the power of Oren’s words reflect in each of your lives, and modulate all your thinking for the better! 

 

 

Episode Timeline:

 

  • [00:09] Intro
  • [00:58] Meet Oren Jay Sofer
  • [03:32] Understanding Oren’s early life
  • [08:11] How Oren was introduced to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s works
  • [16:20] How Oren sees the injustice happening around American culture today
  • [12:34] Maintaining balance between the relationship and her business
  • [21:04] Understanding the need to house discomfort
  • [23:46] Understanding equanimity 
  • [27:19] Training ourselves to see beyond the surface perceptions and judgments 
  • [31:43] How to view differences and diversity
  • [36:25] Oren’s advice for you
  • [38:07] Outro

Resources Mentioned:

 

 

 

Standout Quotes:

 

  • “It's an awareness practice that helps us to transform the way we understand and relate to ourselves, other people and the world, through the lens of language and thought, and in many ways, it helps us to unlearn a lot of the socialization process that I was referring to earlier.” – Oren Jay Sofer [08:24]
  • “My practice is finding enough nourishment in life through anything and everything, moments with my partner, my own meditation, practice gratitude to my teachers, the beauty and nature.” - Oren Jay Sofer [18:06]
  • “If we can't be with our own discomfort, then there is a part of our action in our response that is coming out of reactivity and control.” - Oren Jay Sofer [21:52]
  • “And part of being deeply in touch with life means opening to discomfort and pain because that's what it is to be human.” – Oren Jay Sofer [24:48]


 

 

Connect:

 

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

 

Find | Oren Jay Sofer

At orenjaysofer.com

On Instagram: @orenjaysofer

On Facebook: @OrenJaySofer

On Twitter: @orenjaysofer

On YouTube: @Oren Jay Sofer

Perfectly Paired, A Love Story | Bonny Meyer

Perfectly Paired, A Love Story | Bonny Meyer

November 9, 2020

Some relationships are so mystically created, that their very roots dissolve into the deep essence of love. Devoid of material goals, they turn to become exceptional tales of meaning and radiate into others the powerful energy of soulfulness and bonding.

In a beautiful and touching conversation, we have with us Bonny Meyer, author of the book “Perfectly Paired” and also the co-founder of a Napa Valley winery called Silver Oak Cellars. Her book tells the story behind not only the making of Napa Valley's most iconic Cabernets, but also of a wonderful relationship that blossomed between a monk and a lady. Getting married to Brother Justin after a hard 5 years trying to fall out of love, Bonny witnessed the deeper beauty of the relationship herself.  Listen in as Bonnie discusses spirituality, togetherness, vulnerability, surrender and love, while connecting with all of us and our emotions at a more human level. She shares her eternal relationship with her husband, battling with the inexplicable grief following his demise, and learning to connect with him even today through the gratifying power of meditation. She has also talked about her fulfilling life at the vineyard, how she practices impact investing with her kids, and investing in companies and projects that help society and the earth regenerate.

When you open your eyes to view the larger frame of your life, you realize the immeasurable power of your mind, and consider to see relationships in greater depth. We hope you feel the intensity of Bonny’s words the same way as we did. Listen in and understand love like you’d never have before! 

Episode Milestones

[00:09] Intro

[00:58] Meet Bonny Meyer

[04:36] How Bonny met Brother Justin

[09:40] Creating a stronger connection with Justin 

[11:05] Spiritual parlance and grounding

[12:34] Maintaining balance between the relationship and her business

[18:37] Understanding vulnerability and surrender

[20:31] Dealing with the demise of her beloved

[22:08] Understanding grief 

[27:11] How she feels Justin around her even today

[31:55] The bond with her vineyard

[33:36] Bonny Meyer’s advice for you

[37:43] Outro

Resources Mentioned:

Standout Quotes from the Episode

“The important thing about a relationship in that business is, we brought our love for each other, we brought our very strong values into that. And I really believe that our love truly infused, kind of magically infused the wine with our love for each other.” –Bonny Meyer [08:52]

“I think we were both either learned or blessed with an attitude that we didn't take ourselves too seriously.” - Bonny Meyer [15:21]

“I learned that grief, when you really dive into it, when I really dove into it, is transformative, an alchemical. It can bring you into a whole another new understanding of life and relationship.” - Bonny Meyer [21:08]

“Everything and everyone is better at the end than they were before, which hasn't always been true of modern business.” – Bonny Meyer [35:57]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Embracing All Our Parts Grows Our Compassion For Others | Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems

Embracing All Our Parts Grows Our Compassion For Others | Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems

October 27, 2020

When you accept all the parts of you, you activate eight C’s in your life, namely; curiosity, calm, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, connectedness, and courage.  When we are filled up with these qualities, we can feel for someone, without being overwhelmed by them.

In this episode, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz joins Traci to talk about self-leadership and the links between some of the current events of our time: injustice of all kinds, politics, and empathy across divides. 

Dr. Schwartz is the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS). He came up with a theory that we are all made up of parts, and different parts of us could be burdened, causing us not to be okay. He also found that when the parts felt safe and were allowed to relax, we spontaneously experienced the qualities of confidence, openness, and compassion that Dr. Schwartz came to call the Self with a capital ‘S’.  He found that when in that state of self, we know how to heal.

Near the end he shares how shame and legacy burdens are parts that play into our activism and justice work.  

Listen in as Traci and Dr. Schwartz help us understand the multiple parts theory of IFS and how it works.

Episode Timelines:

[ 06:26] What would Dick want to be changed in therapists’ training?

[10:39] Richard’s multiple parts theory

[16:50] Do we all have multiple parts despite having a smooth childhood?

[17:52] Self Leadership Is...

[19:23] The eight C’s: Qualities that come out when you accept yourself

[20:20] What should listeners be mindful of when listening to someone whose parts might come up and maybe not emphasized?

[24:30] How culture influences some of our parts

[28:11] How Internal Family Systems is stretching beyond the therapist office

[34:19] Richard’s words of wisdom

Resources Mentioned:

Richard’s books

Stand Out Quotes:

“A burden is an extreme belief, emotion or energy that comesfrom some trauma or, bad event in our lives and attaches almost like a virus.” [13:00]

“The ego is just a collection of these little manager parts trying their best to keep you safe.   They need love, too. They don’t need to be disparaged.” [30:16]

“It is possible to burnout and people who burn out typically are those who, in trying to help somebody, feel like they have to take in their emotions.” [34:31]

“If you’re full in compassion, you don’t necessarily feel what the client is feeling. But you feel a lot for them, you have a strong desire to help them. You don’t necessarily have to feel their feelings [to feel for them].” [35:49]

Connect:

Find Sidewalk Talk Podcast
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Find | Dr. Richard C. Schwartz

At

Find | Dr. Richard Schwartz

At:  ifs-institute.com
On LinkedIn: @internalfamilysystems
On Twitter: @IFS_Model
On Instagram: @internalfamilysystems
On Facebook: @InternalFamilySystems

Trauma & Recovery: A Healing Journey | Dr. Jamie Marich

Trauma & Recovery: A Healing Journey | Dr. Jamie Marich

October 18, 2020

Great passion makes the impossible happen.

In this episode, Dr. Jamie Marich joins Traci on the podcast to talk about trauma.

Jamie’s passion for helping trauma victims is profoundly personal. Listen in, as Dr. Marich shares her personal story, different techniques that can be used when treating trauma, and tips that we all can apply in our day to day lives.

Dr. Jamie Marich describes herself as a facilitator of transformative experiences. A clinical trauma specialist, expressive artist, writer, yogini, performer, short filmmaker, Reiki master, and recovery advocate, she unites all of these elements in her mission to inspire healing in others. She began her career as a humanitarian aid worker in Bosnia-Hercegovina from 2000-2003, primarily teaching English and music while freelancing with other projects. Jamie travels internationally teaching on topics related to trauma, EMDR therapy, expressive arts, mindfulness, and yoga, while maintaining a private practice in her home base of Warren, OH. Jamie is the author of seven books on trauma recovery and healing, with many more projects in the works.

Have you been wanting to learn more about trauma, but you have not found resources that you resonate with? Jamie's books have been released and are step by step guides for working with your own healing.

Trauma and the 12 Steps: a Trauma Responsive Workbook

Trauma and the 12 Steps: Daily Meditations and Reflections

were updated and released this September.

Trauma and the 12 Steps, Revised and Expanded: An Inclusive Guide to Enhancing Recovery was revised and expanded this summer.  

All worth checking out.

 

Episode Milestone

[03:18] Dr. Marich's mission

[05:00] What is Trauma?

[07:19] What is the legacy that trauma leaves if we're not getting the right information about trauma?

[11:38] When can getting therapy exacerbate trauma?

[16:05] The source of Dr. Marich’s passion for Trauma: Jamie’s story

[25:05] What are best practices for working with folks with trauma?

[29:31] Accountability tips for helping you keep your mindfulness practice up.

[40:22] Traci’s soapbox moment

Resources Mentioned:

Stephanie Covington

Dr. Jamie’s resource site

Standout Quotes from the Episode:

  • “What may seem like a small wound on the outside can actually be something quite significant. “ [06:27]
  • “To truly eradicate and heal the PTSD or any other trauma-related disorder, you have to do work, like therapeutic work.” [14:47]
  • “Mindfulness is not about making the wave stop. It's about learning how to surf.” [29:06]
  • “Consistency is better for the brain than inconsistency.” [30:32]
  • “Lifestyle as the things we end up doing as a response to our own inferiority.” [36:22]
  • “I do believe healing, our trauma is the most radical act we can engage in.” [41:39]
  • “If wounds remain untreated, they bleed, and we bleed all over people as a result.”[43:05]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Learning About the Enemies of Listening | Dr. Guy Itzchakov

Learning About the Enemies of Listening | Dr. Guy Itzchakov

October 12, 2020

Are you a good listener?

Many of us think we are good listeners, but maybe, just maybe, we are not as hot at listening as we think we are. Today, Dr. Guy Itzchakov joins Traci Ruble on the podcast to talk about the subtle art of listening.

Doctor Itzchakov is an assistant professor at the University of Haifa and the Department of Human Services and obtained his Ph.D. from the School of Business Administration at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. He was a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto at the Rotman School of Management. His focal research has been on the effects of high quality listening on facilitating a change in the speaker’s emotions, cognition, and behavior.  Dr. Itzchakov is also research advisor to Sidewalk Talk.

Listen in as Dr. Itzchakovs shares tips on listening you can use, right now, today, in your own life. 

Episode Milestone

[03:05] How Traci and Dr. Guy met

[05:14] How Dr. Guy got into listening

[o6:15] The boomerang effect

[12:41] Why don’t we listen more?

[13:41] The enemies of listening

[19:19] How does culture affect listening?

[27:04] Ingredients to good listening

[32:58] Ways of conveying understanding to the speaker

[39:01] Does listening contribute to people’s health?

[44:48] Dr. Guy’s wish

 

Resources Mentioned:

Carl Rogers

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode:

  • “When someone listens to us, we feel less anxious, because we don’t care anymore, how we look when we say the things we say.” [08:35]
  • “Research is important to the extent that you can make a difference with it.” [10:55]
  • “Listening is key to the change that we need to make, and we are asked to make in our society” [11:35]
  • “If you listen well, you lose dominance, and you gain prestige.” [17:47]
  • “Listening will reduce the speaker’s anxiety, both state anxiety and social anxiety, which is an indicator of wellbeing.” [39:12]

 

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Children’s Mental Health | Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge

Children’s Mental Health | Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge

October 5, 2020

One in two children in America has either a physical or a mental health issue. This is a serious problem. Even though that’s a statistic relevant to America, this is a global issue. Children are also displaying a ton of physical problems, everything from obesity to asthma, eczema, and other conditions.

In this episode, Traci will have an informative discussion around children’s mental health with Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge. She is the founder and director of Dr. Roseanne and Associates, and she’s the originator of the 360-degree reboot intensive therapies program. She works with kids, teens, and parents in Richfield in Newtown, Connecticut. She’s co-authored a book called ‘The Brain Under Attack’, a resource guide about pan’s pandas. She’s an expert in several areas, including anxiety-related disorders, ADHD, autism, executive functioning, dyslexia, and other learning disabilities.

Dr. Roseann shares her wisdom with us. Listen in.

Episode Milestone

[00:49] Introducing the episode’s guest

[02:43] What inspired Dr. Roseann to work with kids?

[04:04] The increase in the number of children with mental health in America

[11:42] What can we do in our day to day life to help children with mental health

[19:33] OCD treatment

[22:31] How can society be a change agent when it comes to children’s mental health?

[31:13] Dr. Roseann’s wish

 

Resources Mentioned:

The Brain Under Attack

 

Standout Quotes from the Episode:

  • “We’re very socially disconnected. Everybody wants to blame everything on technology.” [10:39]
  • “It’s easier to change somebody’s religion than it is to change their diet” [12:50]
  • “We’re in this elevated stress state all the time because our body knows no difference. Good or bad stress.” [14:54]
  • “Kids really benefit from clear communication in advance. And that’s not you know, that’s helping them have problem-solving.” [27:48]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

Spiritual Sustenance for Angry Times | Karen Brailsford

Spiritual Sustenance for Angry Times | Karen Brailsford

September 29, 2020

What do you do when you are feeling outraged? Do you tantrum, hide out, or do you counter the anger with something affirming?

Today, Traci sits down with Karen Brailsford to talk about spiritual sustenance. If you have wondered how spirituality can help you cope with these intense times without floating away on a cloud of "avoiding the hard things", this episode is for you. Karen has a lot of information that you can borrow and apply in your day to day life. 

Karen is a spiritual advisor. She’s affiliated with the Agape Center, but she’s also a long-time writer. She’s written for Newsweek, People, In Tough, and Entertainment. Her daughter is an actress; you may have seen her in The Hate You Give, Or Hunger Games, Amandla Stenberg.

Many of us think Hollywood is a corrupt place, and nothing good comes from there, but Karen has a different opinion. During her time as a journalist, she had a chance to interview all types of people you might outwardly judge and make assumptions about.

Are you ready to hear Karen ooze her heart-wise tools?  Listen in...

Episode Milestones
[03:43] Karen’s history
[05:33] How does spirituality help us in the different landscapes of the soul?
[08:52] How can spirituality not be a tool to avoid but a tool to sustain our action?
[12:47] Karen’s remedy on burnout
[16:22] Making use of our anger to be of service to the divine
[20:53] Dealing with everything that’s happening around us with affirmation
[24:13] Why I’m I here, and how can I help?
[25:03] How Karen is helping her child remain spiritual even as she is part of Hollywood
[29:59] Why did Karen write the book? What did she hope to achieve?
[33:14] Karen’s gratitude

Resources Mentioned:

Sacred Landscapes of the Heart
Karen’s website

Standout Quotes from the Episode

  • “I think that by connecting to these ways of creating these different hats that I wear that I’m expressing the divine, I’m expressing spirit, and that’s why I am here.” [04:29]
  • “Pray and move your feet, pray and move.” [09:35]
  • “Once we are taking care of what’s going on and coming up for us, then we can truly be a beneficial presence on the planet.” [10:16]
  • “It’s always really humbling and empowering to realize that no matter what is happening, I have at my disposal these tools.”[15:10]
  • “Hollywood itself is emblematic of the dichotomy that exists in the world at large.” [27:38]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

What Relationship Science Tells Us About Loneliness and Intimacy | Dr. Harry Reis

What Relationship Science Tells Us About Loneliness and Intimacy | Dr. Harry Reis

September 22, 2020

Given a chance to talk to your pre-adolescent self, what would you say to them considering all the information you have now?

In today’s show, Traci will be having a hearty conversation with Dr. Reis on loneliness, connection, and intimacy. This episode has nuggets of wisdom based on science for us all to take home.

Dr. Reis is a professor of psychology and Dean’s professor in art sciences and engineering. His research interests involve social interaction and close relationships. He studies the factors that influence our social interaction’s quality and closeness and the consequences of different socializing patterns for our health and psychological well-being. In his research, subjects keep detailed records of their ongoing social interaction. He tabulates them by computer, related to other various factors such as their sexual health and emotional well-being. He is an expert on loneliness and shares the findings of some of his research.

You can’t afford not to love this episode.

Episode Milestones

[02:45] Dr. Reis’s background and why he started research on intimacy and loneliness

[05:50] What would Dr. Reis say to his pre-adolescent self?

[07:11] What has surprised Dr. Reis the most in his study?

[08:33] Active listening as a skill

[10:49] Couple’s theories that excite Dr. Reis the most?

[12:34] What is loneliness, and where does it come from?

[19:01] Is loneliness getting worse, or are we tracking it more now?

[29:24] How can active listening be used to solve loneliness?

[33:26] Dr. Reis’s wish

Resources mentioned:

New York University

Standout Quotes:

  • “I like to think about cell phones as fast food. If you’re hungry, and you go get yourself a Big Mac, you won’t be hungry, at least for a little while. But what you’re eating is not nutritious.” [20:47]
  • “I don’t want people to get the idea that we’re saying that the way to avoid loneliness is to have deep, meaningful conversations all the time.” [24:31]
  • “When you pay attention to what another person is saying, you can get insight into them. And interestingly enough, that makes it easy. For people to feel like the other person is paying attention to them.” [29:48]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

At sidewalk-talk.org

On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg

On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg

 

Find | Traci Ruble

At Traciruble.com

On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT

On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT

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